Bush Fails Military

AP: Washington

Reports from front line troops in the military have provided a resounding rebuke to the current Bush Administration. According to surveys, soldiers are very dissapointed in the direction of his leadership.

An exhausting review of opinions in the military community lays blame squarely at the feet of President Bush himself. Staff Sergeant Frederick Pyle, from the 1st Armor Division put it this way: "President Bush had one function, and he blew it. Now our soldiers are dying in vain. I mean honestly, how hard is it to create a functioning plan to win?"

Further comments from Army Major General Tom Base illustrated the point. According to Base, "We expect our leadership to provide the tools we need to bring home victory. Bush handed our supply chain to the enemy, effectively cutting off future resupply. The last five years have been wasted. I should have listened to my father and joined the Coast Guard."

Democratic Chairman Howard Dean agreed with the troops assessment, indicating that Bush was in fact a failure to be beaten by his rainbow army, and plans were in the works to shift all future military outlays to embryonic and fetal stem cell research and baby farms.

White House Spokesman Tony Snow is being treated at Walter Reed due to a paper shredder accident, and was unavailable for comment.