Paris Riots Spark Outrage, but Few Injuries

Le Monde, Paris.

8 Days of evening riots in poor immigrant suburbs of Paris have led to anger and despair on the South Eastern Paris outskirts. Despite pleas from the government and Islamic religious leaders, the well organized disruptions and violence have continued.

However, observers were quick to note that despite the large numbers of participants and police officers involved in the altercations, no injuries have been reported. According to sources in the Paris police department, France is well positioned to prevent injuries due to riots of this nature.

According to Rene Destang, the leader of anti-riot forces for the Police, unique French characteristics prevent serious injuries. He said, "well, whenever there is a possible contact between rioters and police, both sides simply turn tail and run away. While there have been a few twisted ankles due to quick action among the most French on both sides, we do not expect any real injuries. In fact, this whole thing is due to two French Muslims who were simply doing what we do best: running and hiding. Unfortunately they hid in an electrically charged grid in a powerhouse. Don't worry, both sides will surrender soon."